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    The Absence of Worship

    I had no intention of becoming a social experiment, but in 2022 I walked through one anyway.  If you’ve ever asked yourself how much worship plays a role in your life from Gratitude to Recalling of Scripture and so much more, I can tell you that it’s impact is huge.  

    In 2018 I had the privilege of finally having my very own office and a boss who allowed me to choose my own music.  This resulted in a daily worship service through the speakers of my computer.  This continual meeting with God through worship effected every area of my life.  I stayed worshipful and quick to surrender, I found myself slow to get angry or hold grudges, I existed in a constant state of prayer with words that were not my own.  My writing grew deeper, my sense of well-being was constant no matter the storm.  I grew leaps and bounds in my knowledge of God and found myself gaining new insight and understanding.  It was a glorious 4 years.  

    Then, without any desire of losing what I had, worship was gradually removed from my life.  It started when I took a new job at home where music interrupted the cadence of chat messages and meeting prompts, so I had to lay it aside in order to work.  My lunchtime prayer walk with God the one that always resulted in worship became a dog walking session on a very busy road with constant distractions.  My daily commute home that almost always began with my voice lifted in praise until I was lead to pray and pray I did, was replaced with another dog walk.  I began to experience a sadness I couldn’t explain, a weight I couldn’t identify.  

    Then only a few months later, our church worship leader left.  In the numbness of this loss, I never identified how much the lack of worship was affecting me.  I began to struggle with being quick to anger, I had trouble staying focused in prayer, and my desire for the Word decreased.  I noted these, but had no idea that they were directly correlated to my loss of worship until I attended Thrive with my youth this past weekend.  

    Before the first song ever played, the praise band had already invited the Holy Spirit and He was there to inhabit our praises.  As I began to sing with all that was in me, I heard the voices of our youth in front and behind me.  They too had missed this special meeting with God that only comes through worship.  

    So, if you have ever wondered about how much worship plays in the life of a believer, I hope I’ve explained.  If your church isn’t providing it, seek it out through radio and apps.  If you can’t sing in front of others, find that secret place where you can raise your hands to the heavens, where you can lay down your burdens and surrender in song.  It is so worth it.  Don’t go without, because I can tell you, ‘It is a dry and weary desert with no rain’.  God inhabits the praises of His people and when we praise Him we are lifting our voices to the only One who deserves Honor and Praise.  We are singing with the angels, the four and twenty elders and every other follower of Jesus Christ.  Will you join me in lifting my voice to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords?  ‘Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty who was and is and is to come.’  

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    When Your Tea Kettle Boils Over

    I don’t know about you but as soon as someone tells me I’m not allowed to do something it’s all I want to do.  I understand the words of Paul in Romans 7.  “I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t.  I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.  I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong…I love God with all my heart.  But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.” (NLT) I get his message.  Because this weekend when someone tried to use my husband to make sure that I didn’t post about a certain subject, it’s all I wanted to do. 

    I desire to be that Proverbs 31 woman, I want to be a meek and submissive wife, writer, and leader.  BUT whenever someone tries to use my husband to control me it takes all of the Holy Spirit’s power AND I MEAN ALL OF IT, to make this girl yield instead of act out in anger.  

    This weekend was one of those times.  My husband had a conversation with another man who wanted to make sure that I didn’t post anything about a certain topic.  For the past several months I have avoided posting about what I have been walking through and what God has been teaching me because it involves others that I haven’t felt led to expose.  So, out of my love for God and my desire to love my neighbor as myself, I have remained silent, choosing instead to pray and be still.  

    But after this man tried to get my husband to keep me in check, to control what God says through me, all I wanted to do was rise up and react.  I wanted to expose this man’s sins and his controlling and manipulate nature.  I wanted to climb onto the rooftops and shout it out loud for all to hear.  I wanted nothing more than to write an immediate post about how my husband loves and values me and that my lack of content had nothing to do with my husband but the Holy Spirit.  

    Why did I react this way?  I wasn’t blogging or posting, so why did this man’s try at controlling me cause me to behave in such a way?  If God’s opinion is the only viewpoint I need then why this big emotional explosion?  Why do I hate when a man tries to make me feel small and less than?  

    I found my answer in Proverbs 4.  Verse 23 reminds us to “Guard our hearts above all else”.  Sounds important, but why?  The NLT says that it (our hearts) determine the course of our lives, the NIV says that everything we do flows from our hearts, the NKJV says that out of it springs the issues of life, and CJV says that it is the source of life’s consequences.  Sounds like this is very important indeed.  My problem was that I wasn’t guarding my heart like I should be.  I wasn’t keeping God’s opinion at the forefront.  I had allowed the thoughts and opinions of man to get past my God-filter.  

    I needed the reminder from verses 25 through 27 which advised: “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.  Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path.  Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.”  

    These verses sound great, but how do I guard my heart, how do I win this war over sin?  I’ll answer using Paul words from the same 7th Chapter of Romans verses 24-25.  “Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

    I find my answer in the person of Jesus Christ.  It’s His blood that covers my sins, it’s in being chosen by Him that I am able to lay aside my feelings of inadequacy, it’s in His sacrifice that I am able to surrender my attitude, my heart.  

    Are you resting in Jesus? Have you allowed his sacrifice to be enough for you?

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    Consuming Love

    Do you ever find yourself just going through the motions of life?  Being swept away from one activity to the next, but without the fervor or joy that is supposed to drive you?  Do you miss that passion?  I do. I see unparalleled passion in God’s great love for me, I find it in love stories, but do I find it in myself?  Do I live my life out of the overflow of God’s all consuming fire or have I allowed life to temper my passion, to cool my zeal?

    Now, I know that Song of Songs or Song of Solomon (depending on your translation) is about a relationship between a man and a woman, but I can’t help desiring, wanting, and longing for God in the same way as the Young Woman in this story.   To run throughout the city no matter my workload, in the streets regardless of who is looking, and in the squares asking everyone I encounter, “Have you seen the One I love?” (Song of Songs 3:36 NLT)  Do you know Him?  Have you encountered His love which sets you free and transforms every aspect of your life?

    And once I find Him, to embrace Him with all that I have and all that I am.  “Scarcely had I passed by them, when I found the One I love.  I held Him and would not let Him go.”  (Song of Solomon 3:4a NKJV).  I have loved God with this fervor, but do I still respond to Him like I used to?  Is His voice the one I listen for above all others?  Is His the presence the one I seek?  Is He the desire of my heart and mind and soul?  Does His love drive my actions?  Does it drive yours? I hope that it does.

    May I, may we have the courage to love God with total abandon (a lack of restraint), to not be ashamed of our ferver or love for Him…But to boldly walk in it until all the world takes notice.  ‘Till all the world comes to see this Jesus, this Kinsman Redeemer that causes the blind to see and sets the captives free.  

    May we seek out quiet places to be alone with God, to be refreshed by His presence and mesmerized by His love.  May we leave those places completely transformed by our encounters with Him, that He overflows into all aspects of our lives.  May we live for Him and in Him and through Him.

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    Who is Jesus to You?

    Last night our pastor asked the youth this simple question, “Who is Jesus to you?”

    My simple answer yesterday was, “Everything!”  But this morning as I process through a gamut of emotions, I want to take a closer look into who He is to me at this very moment in my life.  At this crux of change, loss, and gain that I am about to walk through all in less than a months time.

    As I leave my current workplace, the place where God has hidden me away in safety while growing and cultivating my talents over the past five years, Jesus becomes even more to me than ever before, my Hiding Place, my Fortress, my Rock.  You are a hiding-place for me, you will keep me from distress; you will surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7  CJB)

    As I say good-bye to my coworkers who have been more than just friends, my relationship with Jesus becomes forefront.  For He is the only One who stays, the only One I don’t leave behind, the One who goes before me and shelters me round about.  But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24b  NKJV)  “For the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you.  He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6b  NKJV)  For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him. (Psalm 34:7  NLT)

    As I enter a new phase of parenthood next week, watching my youngest son leave his childhood behind and take on the mantle of husband and head of his household, Jesus becomes my constant hope, my firm foundation, the lighting of this new path of loss, gain, and the unknown.  Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. (Psalms 119:105 NLT)

    As I commence upon my first forage into being a Mom of a deployed service member, I hold back tears.  Because of elements beyond my control what was supposed to be a normal deployment has become hush and unknown.  So, Jesus becomes my firm foundation, the Rock upon which I stand.  Come what may, I know that He will keep me anchored within the veil.  Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. (Matthew 7:25 NLT)

    While I’m replaced as the first woman in my middle son’s life, as I begin my new role of mother-in-law, whilst I trek through the unknown waters of a new job in a never before explored field, I can’t rely on myself.  I won’t be able to depend on my own understanding.  But there is One I will trust, depend on, and look up to, my Shepherd, Jesus Christ.  The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.  He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams.  He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.  Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.  Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.  You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies.  You honor me by anointing my head with oil.  My cup overflows with blessings.  Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.  (Psalms 23 NLT)

    So my question for you today is, “Who is Jesus to you?  How does He sustain you?  How are you relying on Him to get through each breath, step, decision, and emotion you walk through each day?  Who is He to you?  “But what about you?” He asked.  “Who do you say I am?” (Matthew 16:15 NIV)

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    YEAR IN REVIEW

    On this day last year, little did I know how much change I was going to undergo in 2021.  My friend Lisa had declared that this was going to be a year of faith and fire for me, but I had no idea what she meant until after I descended the mountain tops of Montana in mid April.

    God has a sense of humor, of this I am sure.  I had been walking through a spiritual mountain top experience for the last four years.  These weren’t easy years mind you, but they were a time of God restoring what the worm had eaten, a season of abundant grace and thanksgiving.  

    In April of 2021 as I climbed Mount Brown in crampons followed by snowshoes, I had no idea that God was allowing my physical eyes to experience the heights and depths that I had been walking on spiritually because I was about to descend the mountain.  And it was going to take everything I had learned and experienced to let go of the mountain top and live once again in the valley below.

    My call to valley living came the very next day on our airplane ride home.  While my husband and I were joyously reliving the highlights of our long awaited honeymoon and 25th Anniversary trip, we were confronted with an unforgiving part of my past.  And boy, was this person unhappy to see me.  In fact, the plane was delayed by their displeasure.  My only prayer as I chose to continue walking in the freedom Christ purchased for me instead of allowing this person’s tantrum to make me believe that nothing had changed was this, God would you please work this out for my good and for your ultimate glory.

    My past trying to lie to me about who I was, was only the beginning of the changes coming my way.  When I returned to work I was notified that I would be transferring to a new department.  I went from a position that functioned like clockwork to complete and utter chaos.  I have had to dig deep and keep my spiritual eyes glued to the eyes of Jesus Christ in order to get through each and every day.  I relearned to consistently cling to the peace that passes all understanding no matter what was coming my way.  I had a refresher course in choosing to pursue gratitude and trust in God’s ultimate plan no matter how hopeless it looked from my vantage point.  

    On the home front we grew by one college aged adult and have begun a journey of learning to live together as a family unit with someone less (our service member) and someone new.  This has been quite an experience, one where I am daily learning my limits and how to walk in grace toward myself and others.  

    As summer began to wane, I thought I had all of my ducks in a row and could pursue my writing passion once again, but God changed my course as He so often does.  He took the life experiences He had allowed me to walk through, the ones I shared in my book Learning to Love the Woman in the Mirror and used them in a way I didn’t see coming.  I found myself leading teen girls through a Bible study on Identity this fall and winter.  I also started seminary, pursuing a certificate in Biblical Counseling which I jut finished the week before Christmas.  

    I don’t know where God is going to lead me tomorrow, if I will pursue a Biblical Counseling degree or pick back up my writing, but of one thing I am sure, like Paul I will press on toward the prize for which Christ has called me.  Choosing to lay everything else aside in order to pursue God’s plan for me.  Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:13b-14 (NLT). For I know that nothing in this life compares with the purpose I have found in God’s great love for me.  And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.  Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow— not even the power of hell can separate us from God’s love.  No power in the sky above or in the earth below— indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)

    May your 2022 be a year filled to overflowing with the love and grace of God and may you find purpose in following His plan for your life.  Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.  “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

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    Repurposed

    Have you ever restored or repurposed a piece of furniture?  Did it allow you to alter it or did it cry out in frustration?  “Excuse me, I know that you have this grand idea and all, but I wasn’t made to spend my life in an entryway holding miscellaneous items.  I am a dresser.”  Or maybe you heard it exclaim, “Wait a minute!  I’m all in for a good sanding, but you’re not doing it right.  It needs to be done this way.  Let me show you.”

    I’m so glad that furniture can’t talk back because I would have heard quite a lot of complaining over the last few months.  The problem is that unlike furniture we can.  And we do.  Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with God that went something like this?  “I know I asked you to reveal your purpose for me.  I know I told you that I would serve in whatever manner you desired, but…”. Now I have to admit that I’ve struggled with this quite a bit over the last year.

    I wanted to want what God had in store for me.  I desired to desire His will, but when He made it known to me, I balked.  Why?  Because I had plans.  I had set goals.  I had attached dreams to these goals and now God wanted me to step out in an entirely new direction where frankly I didn’t want to go.  So like an obstinate toddler, I just stopped moving entirely.  If I couldn’t proceed where and how I wanted, I would just plop myself down on my backside.  Sound familiar?  

    What in the world was I doing?  Why was I standing still when God wanted me to move?  Why was I digging my feet into the ground when He trying to push me ever so gently forward?  Where was this reluctance coming from?

    I can’t answer for you, but I can for me.  I wanted my way over God’s.  “Can’t things just go the way I planned for once?”  I even let fear lie to me.  “I don’t know if I have what it takes.”  I loathe C-H-A-N-G-E and I didn’t want to spend my resources (time and money) on something that wasn’t my idea in the first place.  

    OUCH!  What a stubborn, whiny, and wayward wretch I am.  But truthfully this is what my heart has struggled with over the last few months.  

    And so I find myself at the crossroads once again.  Why am I so surprised to be here?  Do I really believe that one day I will just leave it all at the feet of Jesus and not make it mine?  I won’t, I want to but on this side of eternity, surrender is a daily calling.  A daily choice to lay aside our agendas and plans, our purposes, our wants and desires.  

    If you find yourself fighting God’s new direction for your life, or His repurposing of your gifts; if you want His will for you, but find yourself digging your heels into the ground in obstinance, will you instead choose to lay down those plans you had for your life?  Will you let those dreams go, trusting that God has more in store for you than you can ever dream for yourself?  Will you surrender to the Master’s plan and instead run in abandon the race He has mapped out for you?  

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    Set Apart

    I used to see being relocated or assigned tasks away from everyone else as a bad thing.  My mind would start to try and figure out what I had done, who I had possibly offended and what I could do to be restored to the in-crowd.

    In my need to understand why, I never even considered the possibility that I might be being set apart for a purpose or repositioned for my own protection.  I wonder how many times over the years God tried to set me apart so that I could learn new things, be refined by new experiences, and walk through lonely places so that my relationship with Him could become deeper.  But in my stubborn desire to prove that I was just as acceptable as everyone else, with my need for controlling my own environment, how many times did He watch me run back to relationships, people, jobs, and circumstances He was calling me away from.  

    This willful waywardness to be where everyone else was reminds me of the battle I had with my youngest daughter when she was around 18 months old.  We had a large property with a fenced in backyard that included a tree house, another backyard area with a swing and Koi fish pond, a front yard with lots of room to run and play, and a long driveway that any kid would be happy to voyage up and down.  

    But not my Baby Sam.  Nope, she wanted to stand in the middle of the street.  If I let her out the door of the house (any door) she was heading straight for the middle of the road.  It didn’t matter how many times I tried to distract her.  Scolding, prodding, and persuading fell on deaf ears.  Removing and relocating did no good.  She had seen others cross the street or play in front of our house and she was determined that what was good for others was good for her as well.

    And there was no use in trying to lock her up either, she would find a way out or enlist someone to see things her way.  Even though I saw the big picture and was trying to protect her from possible harm, she was determined to be in the location she desired or else.  Sound familiar to you?  It does to me too.  I’ve been that wayward daughter of the King determined to have my own way, but also demanding His protection and blessing all the while disobeying His leading and trodding in a place of danger.  

    Sad to say, I haven’t outgrown this tendency with age.  In the beginning of a relocation its easy for me to trust (read my blog The Good Shepherd) but at the first sign of trouble (failure, criticism, exhaustion), grumbling and complaining so easily set in and before I know it I’m right back in the location God called me away from or among the people He called me out of.  And if I’m not there, I might as well be because it’s what my heart craves, just like the children of Israel began to crave their captivity in Egypt over their desert place.  

    But what is my heart really craving?  It’s craving the familiar, the understood because “the known” brings an emotional response that we crave even if it is a false comfort that leads to complacency, soul erosion, and spiritual death.  

    It’s why if we want to grow, if we want to keep from being stagnant and useless, we must allow God to separate and/or remove us as He sees fit.  He is an intentionally loving Father and we can trust that where He leads us (no matter what it looks or feels like) is better for us in the long run.  We can rest (be at ease) in the fact that this time of unsettling will produce in us everything that God purposely prepared in advance for us, as long as we yield wholeheartedly to Him.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance  for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)  

    Now trust is easy when all of the evidence and proof highlight our beliefs.  But when the evidence mounts an overwhelming emotional assault that stacks itself against the object of our trust, this is where we must put feet to our faith.  We must, “Take heart!” like Jesus said.  “I have told you these things , so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  (John 16:33 NIV)  

    Faith shows the reality of what we hope for, the evidence of what we cannot see,(Hebrews 11:6 NIV).  So, we must choose to believe in what is unseen and walk as if it is seen, just like those that came before us ‘who did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance.’ (Hebrews 11:13b NIV).  We must tred with confidence knowing that if our God purposed it, if He said it, it has already come to pass.  And until that day where the evidence is seen with our physical eyes we must choose to see it with our spiritual eyes, believe it with our whole hearts, and trust God in total surrendered abandon.  Will you join me?  He’s calling, can you hear Him?        

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    THE GOOD SHEPHERD

    Have you ever asked yourself, I know why sheep need a shepherd, but why do I need one?  I found myself asking this very question as I studied the 23rd Psalm before work one morning.  As I read, the Holy Spirit seemed to answer the question for me, illuminating my need for Him with each verse.  

    It went something like this:  I read Psalm 23:1 (NLT) ‘The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need.’ And my spirit heard, I am all that you need.  With Me as your leader and guide there is nothing you lack.  I then read verses 2 and 3.  ‘He lets me rest in green meadows; He leads me beside peaceful streams.  He renews my strength.  He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to His name.’  Again I heard His voice like the whispering wind.  I take care of all your needs, physical, spiritual, and mental so that you might be a reflection of my love and that I might be glorified in you.  I went on to read verse 4, ‘Even when I walk through the darkest valley (or dark valley of death), I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.  Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.’ His words again filled my heart.  No matter what you walk through, I am there with you.  No matter where I lead you or what you currently face.  Both my discipline and leadership are meant for your good and my glory.  You can trust me.

    Little did I know the impact those words would have on me as I went through the coarse of my day.  God is so faithful to prepare us for what we don’t even know is coming.  Just like David was declaring in those verses, God was already doing in my life.  He was guiding, directing, and bringing to my attention what I was going to need that day even before I encountered it, even before I stepped foot outside of my home.  

    When my boss called me into His office and got up to shut the door after I sat down, those verses began to remind me that I was a beloved sheep in the care of a good shepherd and that I could trust Him even though my world was slowly (or not so slowly) about to change.  

    When the meeting was over and I retreated to my office knowing that in a few minutes someone would be interviewing for the job I loved, I audibly told God, “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”  Oh, but I did.  He had prepared me in advance.  Just like His Word says in Ephesians 2:10 (NIV) ‘For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.’  

    With His help I could do this.  I grabbed my pen and a scrap piece of paper and declared my intentions to the Lord.  I’m going to trust you as my good shepherd.  I’m going to lean not on my own understanding, but in all of my ways, I will choose to acknowledge and honor you.  

    When fear told me that I didn’t have what it takes to tackle the new job I was being transferred to, I again sought a pen and sketched out a prayer to God.  Help me to trust you.  It’s so easy to lean on my own understanding, to lean on and trust in what I know.  Please help me to stay surrendered to your leading even though I don’t know why you’ve moved my pasture.  Help me to stay moldable, pliable, and surrendered to you as my leader and guide.

    Why do I need a shepherd?  Because, my Shepherd knows all and I do not.  Even before the change, my God was preparing me for my new journey.  Before I knew of the move, He was scouting out a new place for me.  He was sheltering me, allowing me to rest, and enabling me to endure all that was before me through His power, might, insight, understanding, and love.

    Yes, I can trust my good Shepherd.  Will you join me in allowing the Lord Jesus Christ to not just be someone you’ve heard about or someone you know of?  Will you make Him Lord of your life, surrendering to His path for you?  For His names’ sake?

    ‘Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.  For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture, And the sheep of His hand.  Today, if you will hear His voice: “Do not harden your hearts, as in the rebellion, As in the day of trial in the wilderness.”’  Psalms 95:6-8 (NKJV)

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    Greener Pastures

    We have a saying in our household.  “The grass is not always greener on the other side, it’s just different.”  Why do I say this over and over to my kids?  Well, sometimes it’s a reminder for myself, but most of the time it’s a warning to my children to not engage in the comparison game. 

    Comparison is great when you’re buying a new product, deciding on a future career path, or planning a trip.  But when it comes to relationships, comparison is a joy killer, confidence robber, and an outright antagonist.  It can take a cohesive work environment and turn it hostile.  It destroys camaraderie, erodes the best of relationships, and causes us to keep an account of all wrongs.  This last part goes directly against 1 Corinthians 13:5 which tells us that love isn’t rude, self-seeking, or irritable and that it keeps no record of being wronged.  If we as Christians are called to love, comparison has no place among us. 

    So the next time you feel the need to compare yourself to that co-worker, the one with the new office, the one that doesn’t have as much work as you do; instead compare yourself to the standard of Jesus Christ who didn’t cling to his rights as the Son of God, but instead humbled himself to the point of death for you and me.  When you find yourself keeping a tally of who does more in the house, who has what you have always wanted, who got the promotion you deserved, who is receiving the admiration you desire; might I suggest that you take your eyes off of that imaginary greener pasture you think they have and put them on the person of Jesus Christ instead.

    If we are to have fellowship with one another, if we are to live this life in a way that pleases God and brings Him glory, comparison should have no place in our lives.  It needs to be cast off and thrown aside along with jealousy, back-biting, fault finding, gloating, and everything else that stands in the way of us walking in love toward one another.  When we are busy doing the work of the Father, when our eyes are focused on the Son, we won’t have time to engage in the petty things that bring us down and hurt our witness.

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    The Problem with Doing what Seems Right

    During my quiet time in Judges, I came across the same verse in two different chapters.  In those days Israel had no king; all the people did whatever seemed right in their own eyes.’  Judges 17:6 & 21:25 (NLT). 

    My eyes kept going back over the first few words, ‘In those days, Israel had no king.’  Why is this important you may ask?  Because, we all serve someone.  That someone can be ourselves, a spouse, our peers, society as a whole, our boss, or a dozen other beings.  Even if we are natural born leaders, someone is still ruler/king/lord over our lives and hearts.  If you don’t believe me, check your motives for doing something.  You may find that you are serving someone or something you weren’t even aware of.  

    As my pastor says, “We (Christians) either live in the will of God or the permissive will of God.”  Now there is a B-I-G difference between the two.  When we live and walk in the will of God, we are seeking His guidance first and foremost.  This means we are allowing ourselves to be directed, prompted, and led.  In other words our motives and the intentions of our heart are to please God first, before anything or anyone else.  

    Then there is God’s permissive will.  This is a place, I spent way too many years operating in.  Years where I put what I wanted for my life above anything God wanted or planned for me.  In fact, looking back even my prayers were self-centered, self-seeking, and manipulative in nature.  I went to God because of what He brought to the table (what He could do for me).  I obeyed His rules and regulations, but not from a heart that was truly His.  I walked uprightly (in my own mind) because God answered the prayers of the righteous and I wanted the things (blessings) God could give me.  

    Reading my above words makes me sick, but it was all too true.  And is too true even today.  So how can I, how can you keep from living a life of doing what seems right in our own eyes?  I found the answer within the same stretch of Judges.  So Micah’s carved image was worshipped by the Tribe of Dan as long as the Tabernacle of God remained at Shiloh.  Judges 18:31 (NLT)   

    What is so special about the Tabernacle of God?  It was where the presence of God dwelt.  The same presence that lives inside of us, the Holy Spirit.  Without the infilling of the Holy Spirit, we are an empty vessel or a worthless utensil.  Why do I say this?  Because we are not living for the purpose we were created to live for.  It’s God’s presence within us that enables us to lay aside our agendas, our idols, and even our own lordship through the yielding of our hearts and wills.  It’s His presence in us that makes the difference.  Without Him we are helplessly lost.

    Won’t you join me in laying aside your own lordship and embracing God’s?  I for one, want to be able to stand before the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and say, “I did it your way.  I lived my life to please you and you alone”, as opposed to standing before the judgement seat singing the song lyrics Frank Sinatra made so very popular ‘I did it my way.”

    We have a choice on whom we allow to be lord of our actions, king of our hearts, and master of our intentions.  The choice is one we make daily, hourly, and on some days minute by minute.  As Joshua said in Joshua 24 verses 14-15, “So fear the LORD and serve Him wholeheartedly.  Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt.  Serve the LORD alone.  But if you refuse to serve the LORD, then choose today whom you will serve.  Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates?  Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live?  But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD.” (NLT)

    Lord God, Today, I choose to surrender lordship of my life over to you.  I don’t want to be ruler of my heart, actions, or intentions.  I don’t want to follow my own path.  I need a leader, One who will lead me into all truth.  I surrender my heart and my plans over to your keeping.  Help me to follow you wherever you lead, enable me to keep you first.  In Jesus’ Name, Amen.