Repurposed

Have you ever restored or repurposed a piece of furniture?  Did it allow you to alter it or did it cry out in frustration?  “Excuse me, I know that you have this grand idea and all, but I wasn’t made to spend my life in an entryway holding miscellaneous items.  I am a dresser.”  Or maybe you heard it exclaim, “Wait a minute!  I’m all in for a good sanding, but you’re not doing it right.  It needs to be done this way.  Let me show you.”

I’m so glad that furniture can’t talk back because I would have heard quite a lot of complaining over the last few months.  The problem is that unlike furniture we can.  And we do.  Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with God that went something like this?  “I know I asked you to reveal your purpose for me.  I know I told you that I would serve in whatever manner you desired, but…”. Now I have to admit that I’ve struggled with this quite a bit over the last year.

I wanted to want what God had in store for me.  I desired to desire His will, but when He made it known to me, I balked.  Why?  Because I had plans.  I had set goals.  I had attached dreams to these goals and now God wanted me to step out in an entirely new direction where frankly I didn’t want to go.  So like an obstinate toddler, I just stopped moving entirely.  If I couldn’t proceed where and how I wanted, I would just plop myself down on my backside.  Sound familiar?  

What in the world was I doing?  Why was I standing still when God wanted me to move?  Why was I digging my feet into the ground when He trying to push me ever so gently forward?  Where was this reluctance coming from?

I can’t answer for you, but I can for me.  I wanted my way over God’s.  “Can’t things just go the way I planned for once?”  I even let fear lie to me.  “I don’t know if I have what it takes.”  I loathe C-H-A-N-G-E and I didn’t want to spend my resources (time and money) on something that wasn’t my idea in the first place.  

OUCH!  What a stubborn, whiny, and wayward wretch I am.  But truthfully this is what my heart has struggled with over the last few months.  

And so I find myself at the crossroads once again.  Why am I so surprised to be here?  Do I really believe that one day I will just leave it all at the feet of Jesus and not make it mine?  I won’t, I want to but on this side of eternity, surrender is a daily calling.  A daily choice to lay aside our agendas and plans, our purposes, our wants and desires.  

If you find yourself fighting God’s new direction for your life, or His repurposing of your gifts; if you want His will for you, but find yourself digging your heels into the ground in obstinance, will you instead choose to lay down those plans you had for your life?  Will you let those dreams go, trusting that God has more in store for you than you can ever dream for yourself?  Will you surrender to the Master’s plan and instead run in abandon the race He has mapped out for you?