The Illusion of Control!
Have you ever tried to force your kids or spouse to straighten up and fly right in an intense situation? Has it worked out well for you? I can’t remember a time that it has worked out for me either, but I can name dozens of times that it hasn’t.
If there is one thing I have learned about the family dynamic it is this, I can not be my husband’s or my kid’s Holy Spirit. And guess what? It’s not my job to do so even though I seem to have a hard time grasping this concept from time to time.
The desire to be my husband’s Holy Spirit always tries to rear its ugly head when we are in the car together. I desire to make it from point A to point B safe and sound and preferably in one piece while his desire is to make it in a specific time frame (one he has chosen).
My husband is a planner extraordinaire. He schedules absolutely everything and by everything, I mean that he even plans out his free time. But the one thing he doesn’t schedule into his calendar are setbacks: like human error, variances in traffic flow, the many time steeling diversions that come with having a family (like running back into the house to retrieve something for the upteenth time), differing opinions in the ranks, or any of the other mishaps or inconveniences that make up life as we know it. If he puts it on the schedule at a particular time, it better work or else (think Monica from Friends). This means that he is always rushed and stressed to the max and it shows in the way he drives and interacts with those on the road around him and in the car with him.
My husband’s intense rush to get to his next scheduled time slot can be quite scary especially when life interferes with his carefully thought out plans. What I have to remember in these stressful times is that I can’t control his attitude or the way he drives. I also have to remember that I’m not in control of his actions or behavior and therefore my suggestions on the the way he should act while driving in traffic should be kept to myself. If I really want to help and aid him, the best thing I can do is pray and leave the rest in God’s hands.
Does this quite the angry storm that is my husband? Does prayer cause him to immediately come back in alignment with my idea of the perfect husband/driver/man? Absolutely not, but it does cause me to quiet my own spirit and helps me to act in a way that honors God. It keeps me from being a shrew and from throwing worded missiles and barbs into an already explosive environment.
Prayer reminds me of who I am, who God is, and what is really important (my own attitude for one). Prayer helps me to keep my focus where it should be, it reminds me that I have no control, and enables me to hand the situation over to the only one who does.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5
