I don’t know about you but as soon as someone tells me I’m not allowed to do something it’s all I want to do.  I understand the words of Paul in Romans 7.  “I want to do what is right, but I can’t.  I want to do what is good, but I don’t.  I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.  I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong…I love God with all my heart.  But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.” (NLT) I get his message.  Because this weekend when someone tried to use my husband to make sure that I didn’t post about a certain subject, it’s all I wanted to do. 

I desire to be that Proverbs 31 woman, I want to be a meek and submissive wife, writer, and leader.  BUT whenever someone tries to use my husband to control me it takes all of the Holy Spirit’s power AND I MEAN ALL OF IT, to make this girl yield instead of act out in anger.  

This weekend was one of those times.  My husband had a conversation with another man who wanted to make sure that I didn’t post anything about a certain topic.  For the past several months I have avoided posting about what I have been walking through and what God has been teaching me because it involves others that I haven’t felt led to expose.  So, out of my love for God and my desire to love my neighbor as myself, I have remained silent, choosing instead to pray and be still.  

But after this man tried to get my husband to keep me in check, to control what God says through me, all I wanted to do was rise up and react.  I wanted to expose this man’s sins and his controlling and manipulate nature.  I wanted to climb onto the rooftops and shout it out loud for all to hear.  I wanted nothing more than to write an immediate post about how my husband loves and values me and that my lack of content had nothing to do with my husband but the Holy Spirit.  

Why did I react this way?  I wasn’t blogging or posting, so why did this man’s try at controlling me cause me to behave in such a way?  If God’s opinion is the only viewpoint I need then why this big emotional explosion?  Why do I hate when a man tries to make me feel small and less than?  

I found my answer in Proverbs 4.  Verse 23 reminds us to “Guard our hearts above all else”.  Sounds important, but why?  The NLT says that it (our hearts) determine the course of our lives, the NIV says that everything we do flows from our hearts, the NKJV says that out of it springs the issues of life, and CJV says that it is the source of life’s consequences.  Sounds like this is very important indeed.  My problem was that I wasn’t guarding my heart like I should be.  I wasn’t keeping God’s opinion at the forefront.  I had allowed the thoughts and opinions of man to get past my God-filter.  

I needed the reminder from verses 25 through 27 which advised: “Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.  Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path.  Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.”  

These verses sound great, but how do I guard my heart, how do I win this war over sin?  I’ll answer using Paul words from the same 7th Chapter of Romans verses 24-25.  “Oh, what a miserable person I am!  Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  Thank God!  The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

I find my answer in the person of Jesus Christ.  It’s His blood that covers my sins, it’s in being chosen by Him that I am able to lay aside my feelings of inadequacy, it’s in His sacrifice that I am able to surrender my attitude, my heart.  

Are you resting in Jesus? Have you allowed his sacrifice to be enough for you?