Are you feeling surrounded?  Has this past year left you feeling like a caged animal ready to lash out and bite?  Do you feel the army of your circumstances closing in around you?  Do you know where to turn?

Something I learned in my journey of discovering who I am in Christ (see Learning to Love the Woman in the Mirror) was that I can’t process in a crowd.  Though I need people and deep connections in order to thrive, I also need solitude and quiet in order to rejuvenate.  Being surrounded for me looks like noise, the expectations of others, and manmade obligations.  These are the things that so easily steal my peace and leave me feeling defenseless and on edge.   

When the loud, unloving words of others become like clanging gongs and symbols, I must run to the Rock.  When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.  For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy.  I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings.  Psalm 61:2b-3 (NKJV)

When everyone and everything is clambering for my attention and I can’t find a moment of solitude, I can find rest in Christ.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28-29 (NIV) 

When everything including the kitchen sink has been thrown into the mix and I find myself the target of one curveball after another, I can have confidence in God.  Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident.  For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.  Psalm 27:3, 5 (NIV) 

But the Lord will redeem those who serve Him.  No one who takes refuge in Him will be condemned. Psalm 34:22 (NLT)

As the song Surrounded (Fight My Battles) states: So my weapons are praise & thanksgiving.  This is how I fight my battles.  It may look like I’m surrounded, but I’m surrounded by you.   

Let us surround ourselves with thanksgiving and a garment of praise.  “To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”  Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

My daughter thinks I should have entitled this post, Don’t Be a Karen.  Regardless of the title, I hope the message comes across.  We are called to lead with gentleness just like Christ leads us.  We are not called to tyranny.  

Have you noticed that since the pandemic hit, there’s a lot more people telling you how to live and what you should or shouldn’t do?  Most of their words are not meant to inform but to coerce you into doing things their way.  Have you also caught onto all of the veiled threats?  I have, as threats are not a tactic I am enthusiastic about nor one I like to employ.  

When someone tries to use their influence, authority, or voice to try and force me to do something instead of appealing to my intellect and allowing me to choose, they immediately lose the battle.  Why?  Because, I stop listening.  

It’s why I parent my kids the way I do.  I lay it all out for them: the facts, pros and cons, the known and possible outcomes, and then I give them life examples.  I do all of this so that they have what they need to make a wise decision.  Do they always choose wisely?  No, but I give them the tools and the instruction manual they need and then allow them to make up their own minds.  

As a loving parent it’s my job to train them not to control them.  My mission is to equip them with Knowledge and where to find it.  Only they can choose what to do with the knowledge I give them.  

Do I want my children to make wise and safe decisions?  Absolutely!  Do I want them to make the right decision in each circumstance?  By all means!  But hear me out.  I don’t always know what the right decision is for them, only God does.  

My children also have free will, they have independent spirits, and their very own lives to live.  Though it’s hard to let go and to stand back, I don’t ever want my kids to make a life decision because they felt forced, pressured, or threatened by me.  I want them to have freedom in my love for them, just like I have freedom in Christ.  

God, being a good father gives us all we need to make wise choices.  Everything we need we have already been given.  We have a tried and true textbook, keys to the Kingdom, a Savior, Teacher, and Counselor.  But each one of us as an individual must choose how we utilize the tools given to us.  

Will we take it as it was intended  surrendering our lives completely to the Lordship of Jesus Christ?  Will we see it as a great story but give it no precedence in our Daily Walk?  Will we dismiss it altogether laughing at the notion of it even being true?  Whatever we decide, it’s our choice.  God gave us free will and even though He could have demanded that we see things His way, He allows us to choose.  Now our choices do have consequences (good and bad) and they are clearly laid out in His Word, but we have been given the freedom to choose our own course.  

But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then CHOOSE today whom you will serve….. 

Joshua 24:15a (NLT)

We have the privilege to choose whom we serve and we choose this daily by the way we live our lives.  While we are free to choose who is ultimately in control of our lives, we are not free from the consequences of those actions.  May we choose wisely.  

But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.  

Joshua 24:15b (NKJV)

Have you ever stepped through the glass doors of a revolving doorway?  Did everything go smoothly or did you get stuck inside?  When your foot was poised to exit into the lobby did someone else enter from behind, their momentum causing the doors to revolve at a quicker pace leaving you with a choice to go around one more time or risk possible injury?

That is the word picture I have for 2020.  I feel like I stepped off of the curb (the known so to speak) and entered a revolving door that continues to change its speed with each rotation and I can’t seem to find the right way to exit it’s doors into the lobby.  

This year is like a whole new form of the waiting game.  One where we’re continually going around and around and around in circles.  Every time we get to the exit door, a new problem presents its ugly head and we go around one more time.  If we’re not careful, we can get stuck inside of these doors.  We can develop a mindset of blocking blows and stepping back until we’re just reacting to life instead of living it.

I’ve lived that empty life before and I do not want to go back.  Christ has called us to a life of freedom not one of fear.  There are no certainties.  I cannot predict what the metaphorical lobby will look like.  I don’t know what mine or anyone else’s future will hold.  And there is no way for me to see into tomorrow, but I do know Who holds the future and it is Him that I choose to walk toward.  It’s His eyes I intentionally gaze into.  It’s His face that I set my heart and mind to seek.  

And while keeping Him as my focus, I choose to re-engage in this life.  With Him as my guide, I choose to press forward, to live and walk in the freedom He’s given.  I will not answer fear’s call nor allow it to chain me to indecision.  Instead, I will step forward, take a leap out of the revolving doors of this life and make the decision to put my feet where my faith is. 

Right now there are so many voices clamoring for our attention.  How we are being told to act, think, and say is changing daily.  Our jobs, income, welfare, education, or should I just say absolutely everything has been effected by this virus.  And so many of us are reeling from the blows.  Violence and tempers are escalating.  Conversations have been replaced by heated, verbal jabs.  Nothing seems to be safe anymore.  Our paths are obscured and blurry and so many of us are hot to trot like a quilled porcupine.

This is why the slightest infraction, careless word, or mistake has set so many people off.  It’s why the little things have become overwhelming.  When everything is falling apart we look for something concrete, something that won’t change, something we can control.  But having control over anything or anyone is an illusion.  The only thing we can control are our own actions.

Instead of looking for emotional stability in tangible things, we need to be intentional about looking to God instead.  Yes, He does allow things to come into our lives that we don’t want.  “For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”(Matthew 5:45b NLT)  But if we are to weather the storms of this life, we must know where our anchor is and we must trust in God’s goodness regardless of what we see around us.  And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. (Romans 8:28 NLT)

If you are struggling with why God is allowing all of this to happen right now, might I suggest that you seek your answers first from Him.  When we seek Him first and foremost, when we seek Him with all that we are, He promises that we will find him.  “If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.  I will be found by you, says the Lord.”  (Jeremiah 29:13-14a NLT)  “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for.  Keep on seeking, and you will find.  Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks, receives.  Everyone who seeks, finds.  And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.  (Matthew 7:7-8 NLT)

When you know God and His character, you can trust that no matter what is going on in and around you, He will have your back.  You can face anything just like Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego faced the fiery furnace; Daniel faced the Lion’s Den; and David faced the giant Goliath.  You can trust God even now.  “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear.  Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds.  They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them.  And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?”  (Matthew 6:25-26 NLT) 

“‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22:39b NLT)  After reading these words you may have thought, ‘That sounds nice and all, but how do I love my neighbor when I don’t even know how to love myself?’  I too have asked that question and the answer is simple.  You can’t.  Only when Christ’s love is perfected in us can we truly love our neighbors as ourselves.

What do I mean by this?  I mean that we must know who we really are before we can love others.  And when I say know, I mean that there can’t be doubt, hesitancy, or indecision over who we believe we are.  When we know who we are to God and that our place with Him is secure, it enables us to love our neighbors without walls, without agenda, without fear, with gentleness, and in perfect harmony.  Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear.  If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.  (I John 4:18 NLT)

When my husband was in the service, his commanding officer had a Scottie doggy.  That doggie KNEW who he was and WHO he belonged to.  It didn’t matter who he encountered, what went on over the course of that day, or who came and went.  That doggie knew his place.  He wasn’t worried about making impressions or competing, he was secure in his master’s love.  And because he was secure, nothing shook him.  He had more confidence and assurance than anyone I have ever met. 

Like that doggie, we must know who we belong to.  We must not allow words from our past to define us, instead we have to rest in the fact that we are first and foremost children of the Most High God.

But we can’t stop there.  To really know our place, we must believe without doubt that we are truly loved.  We must accept that through the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross for us, we have been adopted, given a new name, made new.  We have been redeemed, the ransom for our freedom has been paid.  There is no greater love that this.  

John 15:13 (NLT) says, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  Jesus already proved how LOVED and VALUABLE we are to Him.  There is no question as to our worth.  That question was answered the day He offered His life for our own.

The next step is to not only believe this, but to walk in it.  When we truly know who we are and who we belong to, it is evident in the way we live our lives.  It is evident in the way we interact with others.  His love compels us to love each other.  

“This is my command: Love each other.” (John 15:17 NLT)  

We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love.  God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.  And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.  So we will not be afraid on the day of judgement, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world.  We love each other because he loved us first. (I John 4:16-17, 19 NLT)

Are you living loved?

I have been operating in a ‘Lord, here I am send me, send my family’ mindset for the last few years.  It has been an almost daily prayer, a prayer that we would put our agendas out of the way and be ready to re-align our wills with God’s whenever and wherever He directed.  That was, until last week when God’s will threatened my comfort zone, the relationship I have with my oldest son.  

That morning on my way to work, I had asked God to direct my son’s steps, to send him down the path that God had prepared for him.  I had asked God to have His way with my son.  BUT, that was before the text that rocked my world, the message that knocked the air from my lungs.  That was before God asked me to face my biggest fear for my oldest child and not just face it, but live it.  

In that moment, I went from a Samuel like faith, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening” to a Moses like interaction with God.  ‘Um, Excuse me, Almighty King of the Universe who Knows Everything, I think you picked the wrong person for this job.  You see, I’m not qualified.  I’m a mom that actually loves her kid and wants a relationship with him.  You’re asking me to not just let go and let him soar, but you’re asking me to give up knowing where he is and being able to contact him.  That’s just too much for my mommy heart.  Didn’t you mean to ask the mom down the street, the one who can’t wait to give her boy the boot?  Isn’t that the woman you meant to call for this mission?’

But even as my heart, mind, and spirit warred within me, I knew the truth.  I knew that this was a part of His plan and that He chose me because I wasn’t qualified.  He was giving me an opportunity to grow closer to Him.  A call to go even deeper in His Word.  My mission, should I accept it, was to rely on His strength so that He could have glory even in this affliction of my heart.  

In order to do this and do this well, I must abide and remain in Him.  I have to remember that I am loved by the King of the Universe and live it out loud.  Meaning that I must re-surrender my wants and desires (daily if needed, honestly, I might want to make that hourly).  I must allow the Holy Spirit to re-align my will and bring it under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  This is one more instance where I must unfurl my hands and choose to walk in complete abandon to my King.  

Is there something in your life that you need to lay down, a portion that you’re afraid to trust God with?  Has He been asking you to surrender it over to Him, but you’ve allowed fear to hold you hostage?  Is it time to unfurl those hands?  Is it time for you to take a leap?  

If so, will you join me in lifting our hearts and hands with complete abandon and surrender?  Will you also count the cost and choose to follow after Christ regardless of the turbulent storms around you, choosing the glory of God above all else?  

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.  (Psalms 9:10 NLT)

Have you ever read the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42?  In it we find two very different women, with varied approaches to life, and personalities as distinct as day is from night.

Martha is the steady, dependable, and predictable one (probably the older sister).  She sees something that needs to be done, so she does it.  She’s task driven.

Then we find Mary.  Mary’s the personable one.  She has the people skills.  She’s probably popular or at least well known.  And best of all, Mary knows how to live in the moment.

Do you find yourself identifying with one of them?  I do too.  I know who I always wanted to be (Mary), but the truth is I identify with the other sister, Martha.  Like Martha, I see a task and am driven to get it done.  Projects and checklists are easier than social interactions.  And like Martha, I too, have struggled with bitterness and petty jealousy toward the Mary’s in my life.

I used to read this story and wonder why on earth Jesus didn’t scold Mary into doing her share of the work.  I would find myself quite bewildered over the fact that he rebuked Martha instead.  

Um, Jesus…uh…Are you sure about this?  Did you really mean to scold Martha?  I mean, what has she done?  She’s doing all the work here, Lord.  These and other thoughts were part of the war in my head.  That is, until God revealed the true condition of my own heart.

God doesn’t see things the way that we do.  He doesn’t have a giant checklist of accomplishments he wants us to achieve.  We can’t earn his favor by works.  God looks past the shiny surface of our lives, as He clearly states to Samuel in I Samuel 16:7 (NLT): “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord doesn’t see things the way that you see them.  People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”     

So, what was at the heart of Martha’s complaint?  Was she keeping a tally of all she did compared to the others in her household?  Was she discontent with her lot in life?  Had her heart become ungrateful?  Was Martha stuck in a cycle of trying to earn acceptance?  Was she trying to prove to herself that she still had worth?  What was she really mad about?  But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing.  She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work?  Tell her to come and help me.”  But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details!  There is only one thing worth being concerned about.  Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”  Luke 10:40-42 (NLT). 

 Whatever caused the angst in Martha had all of her time and attention.  Instead of noticing that God made flesh was in her home, wanting her time, she was focused elsewhere.  

How about you?  Are you stuck in a cycle of comparison, discontentment, or striving that you just can’t seem to let go of?  Is your thought life and focus so bogged down with the things of this world that you no longer see clearly?  

If so, He is right there waiting for you.  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28 (NIV).  He’s waiting for you to lay down all of the things that mar your vision and focus, all of the things that consume your mind.  He wants to be the focus of your life.  “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”  (vs. 29)    

Sometimes God’s call is a Call to Action, other times it’s an Order to Be Still.  

Taking action is easy for me.  I’m a doer.  I don’t always come up with the ideas, but I can put them into practice.  Waiting….well, let’s just say, that is not my strong point.  I don’t particularly like to wait.  In fact, I can get quite lost while waiting.  I may even forget what I was waiting for.  

Every morning it’s the same thing, I like to wake up and hit the ground running.  This means that I can quickly burn through my stores of energy.  Any delay can cause my stamina to evaporate like steam.  

This trait is clearly obvious when I run.  It’s off to the races full speed ahead and then, POOF, I’m done.  It takes quite a bit of time training to keep me from burning through all of my energy in the first few minutes of my run.  It’s the way I’m wired.  So, it should not come as a shock that for the last few years God has kept me in a holding pattern.  The doer has had to stand back, be still, and watch.  

This busy little bee has had to govern her pace.  I have had to deliberately slow down so that I can smell the roses, stop so that I can listen to God’s voice, absorb His Word, and saturate in His presence.  I have had to choose a patient approach to each day and have gotten much better about living in the moment, taking each step one day at a time….BUT sometimes I still find myself going full speed ahead once again.  That is why I am so thankful for the tender drawing, nudging, and illumination that comes from the Holy Spirit.  

Last week while struggling with the hurry up and get this virus over blues, He gently reminded me to be still.  Not to look for things to do to occupy my thoughts and mind, but to deliberately stand back, rest, wait, and watch.  

Through His promptings, my devotions brought me to (Exodus 14:14 NIV) “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  In the NLT the last part of that verse reads, “Just stay calm”.  In verse 13 Moses tells the people to “Stand Still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today.” (NKJV).  In these verses, the Israelites were afraid, they weren’t in a position to defend themselves against the armies of Egypt who were pursuing them.  But that is exactly where God wanted them to be.  He didn’t want them to respond to the threat behind them.  Instead, He wanted them to stand back, trust, and watch as He fought for them.  

In Judges 7:2 (NLT) The Lord says to Gideon, “You have too many warriors with you.  If I let all of you fight the Midianites, the Israelites will boast to me saying that they saved themselves by their own strength.”  You see, God wants the glory for the victories in our lives.  He deserves the glory, it is rightly His anyway.  When we rush ahead trying to do everything on our own, we can quickly forget who is fighting our battles and begin to rely on our own strength and wisdom instead of God’s.  

When Gideon had only 300 soldiers of the original 32,000 (that’s less than 1%), that is when God said, “Get up!  Go down into the Midianite camp, for I have given you victory over them!”  That’s not the end of the story though, it gets even better.  In verse 22 it states, When the 300 Israelites blew their ram’s horns, the Lord caused the (Midianite) warriors in the camp to fight against each other with their swords.  

You see, all Gideon’s army had to do was be obedient and stand back while the Lord fought their battle.  Is there a place in your life where you need to relinquish control?  A battle that you need to allow God to fight for you?  If so, I invite you to turn it over to Him.   To stand still and let Him fight for you.  

He said, “Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem!  Listen, King Jehoshaphat!  This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid!  Don’t be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.”  (2 Chronicles 20:15  NLT)

Have you ever met an angry toddler?  I mean a very angry toddler at the point of combustion?  They are quite a force to be reckoned with and most of them have at one time or another, employed the tactic of tantrum throwing.  

My oldest’s battle strategy was ‘If I just embarrass my mother enough, she’ll relent’.  So, he tried very public, massive tantrums which I would walk away from.  BUT my oldest had an iron clad will, so he would follow me from aisle to aisle or room to room throwing himself down in front of me and making the biggest scene possible.  He demanded that I acknowledge how unhappy he was.  If I didn’t give him his way, his course of action was to make everyone just as miserable as he was.  He tried to pay me back in kind.

My youngest was like minded, but her tantrums were even more annoying.  She would let out a never ending screech which would not stop until she got her way.  “Little Bit” was determined to never bend, compromise, or negotiate.  At one point, I thought we would never make it out of her toddler years alive.

  What was at the heart of their tantrum throwing?  What could cause such violent behavior from ones so small?  Well, toddlers are the centers of their universe.  We have met their basic needs since they were born.  They cried, we fed them, burped or diapered them.  They fussed and we entertained or put them to bed.  They eventually came to the conclusion that if they asked for it, then they would get it.  

What both of my littles didn’t understand was that I had knowledge they didn’t.  Sometimes they wanted something I knew they shouldn’t have or at least have at that time.  My ‘no’ wasn’t meant to hurt or belittle their plans, it was made out of my love for them and a desire to only give them what was best.  “You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead?  Of course not!  So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” (Matthew 7:9-11 NLT)

Have you ever found yourself, like a toddler trying to punish God for allowing something to happen to your plans?  Have you thrown a massive adult style tantrum because He said ‘no’ or altered the course of your life?  Have you decided to ignore His way altogether because you are sure that your way of seeing things is the right and only way?

I have.  When we try to understand our circumstances and our relation to them, when we try to maintain a semblance of control over our lives, we take our eyes off of God’s purposes and like a toddler, trust in our own lordship.  

When we try to punish God for not getting our own way, when we demand that He relent to our plans, we only punish ourselves.  A loving Father will do everything in His power to keep us from what He knows would harm us.  From our limited knowledge it’s hard for us to understand His ways, but this is where we must choose who we trust and who is Lord of our lives.  Will we choose to trust God or will we trust in ourselves?  “But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living.  But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” (Joshua 24: 15 NIV)

During these difficult times, we must trust God’s shelter.  We must reside in the high tower of His will and the protection it brings even when we don’t understand.  This requires a constant, continual letting go; a moment by moment, day by day surrendering to the One Who Knows All.  

Today, I invite you to join me as I once again unfurl my fisted hands and raise them in total abandoned surrender.  Laying aside all that tethers me to fear, I ask you to raise your voice with mine in praise to the one Who Knows All.  I beseech you to sing along with me as praise renders the unknown defeated.