I don’t know about you, but I don’t respond well to people that use pressure, threats, obligation, or other forms of manipulation.  This approach to relationships has me coming to a complete standstill or back peddling so quickly I break the sound barrier.  You can’t win me over by force, but I can be persuaded with loving kindness.

These are the thoughts that I have been mulling over the past few months.  The loving kindness of God.  As I watched my grandfather in his final days, as I face the last holiday with my oldest before he leaves for the Corps, my thoughts keep returning to the tenderness of our Father’s calling.

If you look for it, even in heartache, loss, and bittersweet times, you’ll see the scarlet thread of His grace, mercy, tenderness, and love reaching out to us.  Inviting us to partake.  His love is our invitation.

My earthly father first illustrated this love for me when he pursued me as a runaway teen.  I had left home because I didn’t want to face the fears, heartache, shame, and trauma of my sexual assault.  I wanted to sweep it under the rug, hide it away, and keep it there forever.  I was ruined.  What was the use in talking about it?

Running away didn’t stop my dad’s pursuit.  He would come to my work everyday and ask me to look him in the eyes.  I‘ll never forget the first time he did it.  

I was afraid to look up.  I knew that when I did, I would see disappointment, anger, and the like.  So, my eyes ever so slowly travelled up to my father’s until I partook of his loving gaze.  Before I could even process the undeserved tenderness I saw reflected back at me, my heart heard his words.  They went something like this: “You are my daughter.  There is nothing you can ever do to lose my love.  You are mine and I will always love you.”

My dad didn’t stay behind to see what those words did to me, my stony expression wouldn’t have betrayed much.  But those words called me home.  The culmination of his continuing pursuit and love eventually brought me back into a relationship with him.  

Our Heavenly Father pursues us the same way.  Even in the garden, He made a way for us to be with Him.  A way for us to be restored into a right relationship.  That way is Jesus.  The Word made flesh.  Emmanuel, God with us.  The one who sacrificed it all for us.

It’s there for everyone to see.  In history, in our very lives God has been seeking mankind all along.  He has been working behind the scenes lovingly calling us to Him.  Have you answered His call?  Have you accepted His invitation?  He’s waiting for you.

The holidays are full of stress, running to and fro, expectations, obligations, and so much more.  Most years by the time Christmas Day actually rolls around, silent tears are streaming down my face.  For this working mom with only one or two days off during the holidays, it’s just too much.  I need time to be still, to reflect, and recharge.   

So this year, my family is giving me the gift of time.  Instead of our normal 3 to 4 Christmas celebrations, we will only be having 1.  We have chosen memories over busyness.  Mindful, discussion over harried shopping and quality time over numerous holiday celebrations.

For the first time in forever, I am actually looking forward to this day.  Knowing that I don’t have to rush has allowed my spirit to recharge.  Anticipating our new holiday traditions has made our last Christmas as a family of five something to look forward to instead of something to get through.  In fact, I even found time to read a new book.  

So, this Christmas season you will find me baking cookies instead of packing.  Playing games with my kids instead of spending hours in the car traveling; and savoring each moment instead of rushing through it.  This may be a season of lasts for our family, but it is also a season of firsts.  A season of Hope and a season of New Beginnings.     

Over the course of the last week, I have had many moments of quiet reflection about the life of one man, my grandfather.  The more I pondered the life he lived, the more AWE built inside of me.  This awe wasn’t reflected toward the man himself, but toward the Man he served.  

If you had been among those lucky enough to meet my grandfather, you would have observed at least four things about him.  He was a well groomed man that was at home in a Stetson and bolo tie for one.  2.  He loved fishing.  3.  He loved Jesus.  4.  In fact, he loved Jesus so much that he had to share Him with everyone he met.

That’s the legacy my grandfather left me.  Not religion or the practice thereof, but a living breathing relationship with Jesus Christ.

My grandfather wasn’t perfect, but his life weaves a beautiful pattern of walking with his Savior.  A tapestry of grace, forgiveness, and transformation.  My grandfather loved because Christ loved him first.  It was evident in the way he lived his life in service to his King and to others.

The legacy of faith my grandfather left behind is like any other gift in the fact that it must be unwrapped and accepted by the receiver.  As a receiver of this priceless legacy, it’s up to me what I do with it.  I can leave it wrapped, open it and put it on a shelf after examination, or I can put this legacy into practice in my own life each day.  

I can’t think of a better time for the legacy of faith he left behind to be opened, lived, and poured out then during a time of Thanksgiving and the Season of Christ’s birth.  This holiday season, I hope that you take the time to quietly unfold all of the mysteries of Christ’s birth and that you find the courage to accept God’s gift given to you and me that we might have and live a life of abundant joy, peace, acceptance, belonging, and freedom all through one man who came to earth as a baby, Jesus.  

I have worked so hard to slow my life down.  To not rush forward, to live in the moment.  My steps have transitioned from the brisk and harried pace of a hot mess to a more contemplative stroll as I have pursued stillness and found peace in savoring each moment.

But the last two weeks, I have found myself rushing forward once again.  I first noticed it on a drive home from work.  Instead of patiently going with the flow of rush hour, I began tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, and speeding down the road as if my life depended on it.  I also noticed that I no longer strolled through the store, pausing to look at various items, aware of my surroundings.  Instead, I had resumed the whirlwind pace of my former self galloping from one thing to the next, avoiding pauses and choosing busyness over quiet reflection.

While my family was showcasing patience, kindness, compassion, and love for all to see, I found myself growing impatient, becoming snappy and irritable.  What had happened to my peace?  What was eroding my restful and tranquil pace?

As I sought my answers in the Word of God, I was drawn to I Corinthians 13:4-5.  The convicting reality that I wasn’t walking in love stung, so I began to dig deeper.  I opened my journal and wrote out each word next to its definition.  Then I began to ponder and ask myself the tough questions…  What is keeping you from being patient and kind?  Why are you overwhelmed with feelings of jealousy?  What is causing you to be rude, to demand your own way as if you alone are the only one who could possibly be right?  And worst of all, how can you react so irritably toward others and keep a record of their wrongs when Christ has bestowed on you His grace so abundant and free?  Why are you acting this way?

As I worked through my feelings, I began to realize that I was struggling with insecurity.  My insecurity began when I allowed a nagging fear to become a pestering thought.  This thought became thoughts that broke through my helmet of salvation stealing my peace as I began to entertain them, giving them precedence over truth.  Instead of turning these fearful darts over to God every time they reared their ugly head, I had given them a corner of my thought life.  Before I knew it, they had played out my worst fears, causing anxiety and quickly stealing my peace.   

This girl needed to make sure that her armor was in place.  I needed to take my fear and nail it to Christ’s cross leaving it there.  Galatians 5:24-25 (NLT)  Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to His cross and crucified them there.  Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.  

I couldn’t allow my fears to have dominion over me or a place in my mind.  My mind belongs to Christ and no matter the outcome of the situation I was fearful over, I could trust God’s perfect ways.  I could rest in the goodness of His plans and will for my life no matter the outcome.  I John 4:18 (NIV)  There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  

A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.  Put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil.  Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.  Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.  For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.  In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.  Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.  Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion.  Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.  Ephesians 6:10,13-18 (NLT)

It was a terrible, horrible, no good Tuesday.  One of those days you just wish you could start over from the very beginning.  Before the day was over I would receive blow after blow of disappointing news.  If that wasn’t bad enough, I was struggling with feelings of discontentment. I didn’t have the heart for the monotony of another work day. I was bored of the repetition and routine, the sameness of everyday.   

As I struggled to maintain a good attitude and stay above the gloom, I fielded call after call of the unexpected, text after text of discouraging news from family members, and email after email of issues that needed my immediate attention. Talk about being pressed in on from all sides and all at the same time. Yet I was still expected to come up with solutions, find answers, give sound advice, and be the encouragement others needed. But I too needed my spirits lifted. I was in need as well.

After dealing with an extremely difficult person who plain and simply wanted me to be as miserable as they were, I almost gave into the feelings and emotions that had been intruding on me all day. Instead I ran to God telling Him how desperately I needed Him. How I couldn’t keep an attitude that honored Him without His help.

Even though I couldn’t leave the constraints of my office, I laid down the burden of gloom and disappointment that was encroaching on my spirit.  Through whispered songs of praise I took my eyes off of my own negative feelings and the emotions that were pulling me toward hopelessness and instead placed my focus on the One my heart desires.

Psalms 42

As the deer longs for streams of water so I long for you, oh God. (vs. 1 NLT)

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.  (verse 2a NIV)

Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?  I will put my hope in God!  I will  praise Him again – my Savior and my God!  (vs. 5-6a NLT)

But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.(vs. 8 NLT)

Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.   (vs. 11 NIV)

Modesty is a subject that comes up a lot in my conversations as a mother of boys, a mother with a teenage daughter, and due to the fact that I am a woman myself.  

Lately it has been a burden on my heart as I have watched someone I love dearly swing from the oppression of forced modesty by the church to the opposite extreme.

So what is modesty?  Is it the way we dress or is it a condition of our hearts?  

Let me say as a Christian woman, I do believe that we should dress tastefully for we are God’s workmanship and we are also His temple.  But true modesty does not come from the clothes we wear, it comes from the overflow of our hearts.

When our self worth is perfectly tied to who God says we are, there is no need for us to get value or worth from our outward appearances.  Being safe and secure in the love of Jesus and in our identity as daughters of the King frees us from a life of using our body to gain value.  

We find our value instead on what He did for us on the cross and in our adoption into the Kingdom.

I used to be a woman who wore certain types of clothing striving to keep my husband’s eyes from straying and to boost my own self esteem.  BUT this type of worth is empty and was fueled by the reactions I received from others.

When my focus shifted off of my ‘who am I’ mentality and became about who God says I am, I stopped having the need to compete for that type of attention.  

The more focused I became on Christ the more I wanted to live in a way that honored him.  The more I have lived a life that honors Him the wiser my clothing choices have become.  I found that I no longer had to be a slave to the fickle opinions of others when my identity stopped resting on the crux of who I was and instead became anchored to who God is and what He did for me.  

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfolding beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.  1 Peter 3:4 (NLT)

As I prayed for a friend that was facing a path of uncertainty, I asked God to go before her and prepare the way.  I asked Him to walk alongside of her as she started down a new and unpredictable road.  I began to request that He go behind her to tie up any loose ends when a thought intruded upon my petition.

How many of us ask God to go before us without really thinking about what we are asking?  Do we even believe it is possible when we pray words like these or are they just something we say?

The amazingly good news is that our God is not bound by time and space.  He is omnipresent, meaning that He is everywhere at the same time.  He is atemporal: independent of or unaffected by time.  He is timeless.  Since our God is not restricted to the limits of time, there is no situation you will face where He has not already been.  No path you can take where He hasn’t walked ahead of you to prepare the way.

No matter what you are facing today.  You are not alone.  He is there now.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  You don’t need to be afraid.  Your emotions may dictate otherwise, but you are perfectly safe in His care.  So, unfurl those hands.  Let go.  He’s already seen your situation through to the end.  You can trust His plans for you.

You go before me and follow me.  You place your hand of blessing on my head.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!  I can never escape from your Spirit!  I can never get away from your presence!  If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.  If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.  I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.  To you the night shines as bright as the day.  Darkness and light are the same to you.  Psalms 139:5-12 (NLT)

As Christians we are asked to live with open outstretched hands.  This is easy to do when things are going well.  When we are walking through a mountaintop experience.  But what happens when the doctor brings bad news when you were expecting a miracle?  When something threatens a relationship that is dear to you?  When your kids or spouse don’t listen to your advice and make decisions that literally rock your world?  When the face that looks back at you from the mirror is hardly recognizable?  When you long to spend time with someone, but their gravestone is the only tangible thing you have left?  What do you do then?

This is when we must intentionally choose WHO we trust.  We must declare to our circumstances, our emotions, and our thought life that no matter how the storm rages around us, we will trust the name of the Lord our God.

We have to willingly unfurl our fists and raise our arms in open surrender.  Telling our circumstances, reminding ourselves, and declaring out loud…  The LORD is my strength and shield.  I trust him with all my heart.  He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.  I bust out in songs of thanksgiving.  Psalm 28:7 (NLT)